Concerns raised as GCSE Maths pass rate rises to 103.7%
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Confusion reigns as England team insists it hasn’t already retired from international football
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Energy companies appeal for calm as lucky pant washing overwhelms national grid
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Cake tin sales soar as geek proves they get better reception than new Iphone
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Millions complain as ITV fails to interrupt England game with ad breaks
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Cameron and Clegg regret mention of Jedward; coalition leaders now known as Dick