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Capello raises fears of breakaway England team

In a tense news conference at Wembley this morning, Fabio Capello raised suspicions over a possible breakaway national side.

“This Bridge business is fishy, you know”, the Italian manager suggested, “first Jamie Carragher says he doesn’t want to play for me, then it’s Luke Young at right back. Now suddenly there’s a third defender – a holier than thou trinity, no?”.

Rumours are circulating around the FA headquarters of a rival national team being put together, although suggestions that they will be called New England are believed to be very wide of the mark. Fears are growing for the England midfield, with either Gerrard or Lampard widely expected to be next to publicly fall out.

With just a few months to go until the World Cup finals, Capello is obviously keen to make sure his best players resist any temptation to join the scab XI. He finished by declaring ‘Hey Heskey, your wife is a fantastic lay, she is very good at playing in the hole, no? What you say about that, hey?’.

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