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Government announces launch of new Back Seat Driving Test

back_seat_drivingThere was surprise today after the unexpected launch of the new Back Seat Driving Test, to be introduced later this year.

The written test will require applicants to fill in a series of multiple choice questions by reaching over an examiner’s shoulder, with bonus points available for changing answers in a smooth fashion. Whilst the practical will test the proficiency levels of reversing directions, turning into a monster and parallel sulking.

Motoring organisations largely welcomed the move with one source claiming that drivers spend most of their time looking in the rear view mirror purely to check their own safety from verbal attacks. A Department of Transport spokesman confirmed that the new initiative was in response to the rapid acceleration in back seat related accidents, which often end up with rapid acceleration into the car in front.

There had been questions raised over how involved the Prime Minister had been in the policy decision, although rumours of a mysterious moustachioed force steering the Government from behind Mr Brown were dismissed as ‘ridiculous’.

Posted 1 year, 1 month ago at 1:42 PM.

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Forestry Commission runs into problems with new ‘Bring back the Birch’ campaign

birch

The Forestry Commission was today forced to rethink its campaign to increase the number of birch trees in the UK. The ‘Bring back the Birch’ initiative ran into problems as its website was overrun with far-right visitors taking over the message forum.

“We’re saddened by this development”, admitted a spokeswoman for the nature organisation. “We’ve not had this many issues since our ill-fated ‘Cane the lot of them’ campaign to encourage people to grow more vegetables”.

Posted 1 year, 2 months ago at 7:41 PM.

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