Tributes flood in after the death of the last remaining Socialist policy
With government plans announced this week for people of retirement age to be taxed £20,000 for the cost of future care, tributes began to flood in for the death of the eldest Socialist policy.
Free elderly care for all first saw active service at the same time as the birth of the NHS, spanning millennia, two Iraq wars and one world cup final. The policy had been quoted only recently as ‘having witnessed horrors that I’ll never forget’ at a commemoration service for free dental care.
The biggest tribute came in from a former colleague, now reduced to a barely coherent, rambling state. Prime Minister Gordon Brown said ‘free elderly care will be fondly remembered by everyone, except those incapacitated with debilitating mental illness of course, as a tremendous policy bringing comfort to all of us. But he joins old friends Freedom of Speech, Lower Taxes and Pacifism in the annals of history. He gave so much and now, if you’re in your early sixties, it’s your turn. And if you don’t like it, I’ll put you on an easyJet flight to Switzerland”.