A heavenly spokescherub today denied that God’s powers were on the wane after a Cumbrian town had its new train station finished in just six days.
“Obviously in the past, God would have taken on much bigger projects to fill the weekly window, but these days the amount of micro-management, departmental meetings and target-orientated Powerpoint presentations rather encroach into the Deity’s diary”, insisted the PR angel.
A heavenly spokesangel was today forced to issue an unreserved apology after a game of Secret Satan span wildly out of control.
The game had been arranged for this year’s seraphic soirée, to celebrate another successful year in the Angelic Administration Department. But things took a turn for the worse after Gabriel went all blue-sky thinking and suggested a round of vodka-based Divine Retributions.
One cherubin, who refused to be named, said “We’d have probably got away with most of the initial relatively harmless stuff, you know, things like Jedward, a Belgian EU President and that so called comedy Miranda. It’s just a shame that somebody suggested having it piss down in Cockermouth, that might have been one step too far”.
God was understood to have been furious at the news, giving the full hairdryer treatment to his previously virtuous representatives, which sadly for the Asian seaboard will become Hurricane Joshua next week. After eventually calming down, the chastened deity told reporters “It was just a few drinks for my Son’s birthday that got a bit out of hand”, adding, “there’s no need for anyone to get crucified”.
