MP’s report on homeopathy ‘has been watered down significantly’
Bank of England steps in to stop ‘run’ on MPs
The Governor of the Bank of England took the unprecedented step today of underwriting all MPs, after an incredible amount of money was withdrawn from their accounts this week to pay back expenses.
It was feared that a ‘run’ could quickly gain momentum leading to many MPs vanishing from High Streets up and down the country.
“Some of these institutions have been around for centuries”, the Governor said, presumably with Tony Benn in mind. “We are keeping a keen eye on developments and hope our early actions will prevent any problems. Although, we anticipate having to merge some MPs together to keep them solvent; Ms Clare Short MP is already in talks with Mr Stephen Pound MP to become Pound-Short MP, whilst for comedy effect Mr Geoffrey Cox MP is lining up alongside Mr Ed Balls MP”.
He later added that he wouldn’t step in if they all lost their deposits at the next election.
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All-party group of MPs get ‘absolutely hammered’ on expenses
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